Vicissitudes Weekly

 “She did nothing except try to talk me out of who I am.”

Kim Green’s Rene from Vicissitudes

For some, there is a natural instinct to try to change things that cannot be changed. 

When a person, shares their most profound truth with the world, if we don’t like what we hear, some tend to ignore and deflect this precious moment of trust. Gay and trans people are among the many who face this egregious type of disbelief when they’ve revealed themselves. It is how Conversion Therapy was born. The cruel and often violent practice of trying to excise that which doesn’t seem to “fit” is an extreme response to our culture’s inability to accept reality when it’s not our own.  Those who respond to an LGBT person’s disclosure  with dismissive comments such as “it’s just a phase” or “grow your hair” or “find a nice girl/boyfriend are ultimately practicing their own form of Conversion Therapy.    

This must stop. 

In Vicissitudes, my character, Rene, laments about her troubled relationship with her mother who refused to accept or embrace her daughter’s homosexuality. The opinion that one can be dissuaded from their deepest truth has proven to be a useless enterprise. Needless to say, Rene’s mother’s detachment from the truth resulted in a tumultuous relationship where vicious and hurtful words were hurled from both sides, leaving them to estrangement. It was Rene’s mother’s toxic wish that she was someone else. The reality is: We can only be who we are. 

 Rene is a well-heeled attorney and happily married woman, but she is in profound emotional distress caused by her mother’s refusal to accept her and the woman she loves. This drives Rene’s tendency to be rigid and overachieving. Although she seems balanced and well-adjusted on the outside, Rene is a woman boiling over with rage and instability inside.  How many more people  will have to experience this neglect? How many more hurt people walking the streets can we handle? The unreasonable, loveless ostracism of our LGBT children is shredding the very fabric of the familial design. With this kind of dissonance, pain is all that can ever be accomplished. Despite subtle or overt conversion efforts, you can’t change the soul of a person. 

This is especially true for those who hide behind religion, sending their own children away, thrusting them towards their peril. Although it is unspoken, people who do this to their children live in horrific conflict, knowing that their choice to abandon their own is severely flawed. Homelessness, drug abuse, human trafficking, depression and suicide are the most common outcomes for those who lose their family to this ruthlessness.

We are taught that to be faithful is to love with no exceptions. To re-interpret the meaning of love for our own convenience only tears us apart. 

Love is not flexible. 

Love means only one thing. 

No exceptions. 

Love transforms, 

KG

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